Part 5: What Happens After You Wake Up

When you see the truth… but don’t know what comes next

I think this is the part people don’t talk about.

Everyone talks about awakening like it’s this powerful, confident, fearless moment where you suddenly know exactly what to do with your life.

That hasn’t been my experience.

For me, waking up didn’t come with answers.
It came with discomfort.
With questions.
With this quiet, unsettling awareness that I couldn’t go back to how I used to live... even though I wasn’t sure what was supposed to replace it.

And if you’re here right now, feeling that same tension, I want you to know something:

That doesn’t mean you’re stuck, it means you're honest.

Waking up doesn’t mean you immediately escape.

I used to think awakening meant clarity.
Like one day I’d wake up and suddenly everything would make sense.

Instead, what happened was this:

I became aware of how much of my life was built around survival.
Around routine, obligation, doing what was expected and pushing through exhaustion and calling it "normal ."
And once I saw that… I couldn’t unsee it.

But seeing the system doesn’t mean you instantly escape it.
Most of us still have jobs.
Bills.
Kids.
Responsibilities.
Real lives that don’t pause just because our eyes opened.

Awakening isn’t about blowing your life up.
It’s about no longer lying to yourself about the life you’re living.

I don’t have a neat answer for what comes next.

This is the part where most blogs would tell you:

“Now follow your purpose.”
“Now quit your job.”
“Now manifest a new reality.”
“Now everything aligns.”

That’s not where I am.

What I do know is this:

I can’t live numb anymore.
I can’t pretend exhaustion is normal.
I can’t unsee the patterns.
I can’t ignore that something in me wants more truth, more meaning, more depth, more God, more real.

And I think a lot of us are in that same in-between place.

Not asleep.
Not free.
Just… awake enough to feel the tension.

Maybe awakening isn’t about answers. Maybe it’s about permission.

Permission to question things.
Permission to slow down.
Permission to admit something feels wrong or off.
Permission to stop forcing yourself into a life that drains you.
Permission to evolve without having a five-year plan.

For a long time, I thought something was wrong with me because I didn’t know what came next.

Now I’m starting to think that not knowing is part of it.

Because once you wake up, you stop accepting borrowed scripts for your life.
And that means you have to write your own... slowly, imperfectly, and honestly.

You don’t owe the world certainty.

You don’t owe anyone a clean transformation story, dramatic pivot, or answers that you don't have yet.

You’re allowed to be awake and still unsure.
You’re allowed to be growing and still tired.
You’re allowed to be changing and still afraid.

That doesn’t make you weak, it makes you human.

And it makes you real.

This isn’t the end. It’s just a pause.

I don’t know exactly what this blog will turn into next (hell, I don't know if anyone is reading it, but I keep writing!)
I don’t know if I’ll stay in this lane forever.
I don’t know what the next series will be about yet.

What I do know is that I’m not done telling the truth.

And I’m not going back to pretending everything is fine just to be palatable.

If you’ve been reading this series and quietly nodding along…
If you’ve felt seen but also unsettled…
If you don’t have answers but you know you’re different now…

That’s okay.

You don’t need to rush the next step.

Awakening isn’t a destination.
It’s the moment you stop lying to yourself.

And once that happens, everything else unfolds in its own time.

If this series resonated with you

Leave a comment.
Send a message.
Or just sit with it.

You don’t need to do anything with this awareness yet.

Just don’t ignore it.

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